I’m 73, I Live Alone, and I Feel Fulfilled: 4 Habits That Make My Life Better

At 73, living alone can sound frightening to some people.

There is a common assumption that being by yourself automatically means being lonely, isolated or unhappy.

But those things are not the same.

You can live alone and still have close friends, meaningful routines, hobbies, neighbors you trust and people you can call when you need them. The National Institute on Aging specifically notes that living alone does not necessarily mean a person is lonely or socially isolated.

In fact, for some older adults, living alone can bring something they didn’t have enough of earlier in life: peace, independence and the freedom to decide how each day is going to look.

The challenge is making sure that independence doesn’t slowly turn into isolation.

After years of learning what works and what doesn’t, I’ve found four habits that make living alone feel less like “being alone” and more like having a life that belongs to me.

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1. I Give Every Day a Reason to Get Up

One of the biggest changes after retirement is that the outside world stops demanding quite so much from you.

No boss is waiting.

No children need to be driven somewhere.

No coworkers are expecting you at 8 a.m.

At first, that freedom can feel wonderful.

Eventually, though, having nothing that needs to be done can make the days start blending together.

That’s why I make sure every day has at least one thing that gives me a reason to get up.

It doesn’t have to be something important.

Maybe I’m going to the farmers market.

Maybe I have a library book to return.

Maybe I’m making soup for a neighbor.

Maybe I’m going for a walk.

Maybe I’m finally going to plant the herbs I’ve been putting off.

The activity itself isn’t the important part.

Having something to look forward to is.

The National Institute on Aging recommends meaningful activities, hobbies and volunteering as ways older adults can maintain a sense of purpose and support healthy aging.

My rule is simple

I try not to let an entire day pass without doing something that feels purposeful.

That purpose can be tiny.

A clean kitchen.

A finished crossword.

A phone call with an old friend.

A walk around the neighborhood.

A new recipe.

It all counts.

2. I Make Sure I See or Talk to People Regularly

This may be the most important habit of all.

Living alone isn’t the same thing as being disconnected.

But if you spend enough days without meaningful contact with other people, the difference can slowly disappear.

That’s why I don’t leave social connection to chance.

I make plans.

Sometimes that means meeting a friend for coffee.

Sometimes it’s a phone call.

Sometimes it’s talking with a neighbor over the fence.

Sometimes it’s attending a community event or joining a group activity.

And sometimes it’s nothing more complicated than calling someone and asking:

“How are you doing?”

The CDC says supportive social connections are associated with better physical and emotional health, less stress and a greater quality of life.

You don’t need dozens of friends.

A few people you can genuinely talk to may be far more valuable than a huge list of acquaintances.

I also stopped waiting for other people to call first

This was a big lesson for me.

When you’re younger, friendships can happen naturally because you’re constantly around people.

After retirement, you sometimes have to make the first move.

So I call.

I invite.

I suggest lunch.

I ask a neighbor if they want to take a walk.

Sometimes they say no.

That’s okay.

The important thing is not sitting at home waiting for life to come to you.

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3. I Keep Moving, Even on the Days I Don’t Feel Like It

I don’t exercise because I’m trying to look 30 again.

That’s not the goal.

I move because I want to remain capable of taking care of myself.

There’s a big difference.

I want to be able to carry groceries.

Get up from a chair.

Walk around the neighborhood.

Climb the stairs.

Work in the garden.

Travel without feeling completely exhausted.

Physical activity is an important part of healthy aging. The CDC recommends that older adults include aerobic activity, muscle-strengthening activity and balance exercises as their abilities allow.

That doesn’t mean everyone needs an intense gym workout.

For me, walking is one of the easiest things to maintain.

Some days I walk longer.

Some days I only walk around the block.

On other days, I do a few simple strength or balance exercises at home.

The important thing is consistency.

I learned not to compete with my younger self

This is another mistake people make.

You remember what you could do at 40 and become frustrated that you can’t do it the same way at 73.

I’ve stopped thinking that way.

The goal isn’t to prove that I can still do everything I did decades ago.

The goal is to keep improving what I can do today.

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4. I Make My Home a Place I Actually Enjoy Being

When you live alone, it’s easy to tell yourself:

“Why bother cleaning? Nobody else is coming over.”

Or:

“Why cook a nice meal? It’s just me.”

I used to think that way.

I don’t anymore.

If I’m going to spend a significant part of my life at home, I want my home to feel comfortable.

I make my bed.

I keep the kitchen reasonably clean.

I put flowers on the table when I have them.

I cook meals I enjoy instead of eating whatever happens to be easiest.

I play music.

I open the curtains in the morning.

These aren’t dramatic changes.

But they change the feeling of the day.

Your surroundings can influence how you feel about spending time at home.

And when you live alone, you deserve to make your own home pleasant for yourself—not only for visitors.

Living alone doesn’t mean doing everything alone

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